my journey through the pursuit of love & happiness

falling in love?

Posted on: July 5, 2010

Every so often, usually while listening to a Taylor Swift song I feel vulnerable, I feel like I could fall in love at any moment and settle down.

Sometime it lingers, but generally it passes.

Is this feeling just being in love with love?

As I verge towards my late twenties I am pondering (once again inspired from 30 Rock) the idea of settling.

By settling I don’t mean settling down, I mean settling. Finding some nice boy who will make do. A guy who is honest and will be a good father, but who major sparks seem to be missing. Maybe this is even a guy I would overlook in the beginning.

Some of my friends, friends who are in long-term relationships, are able to map their lives out more. Married by 27. Babies by 30. Something else by some other time.

But really, what are my expectations for a long-term relationship? Disney.lied. He.lied. As much as there is probably still a small part of me that wants to believe in Mr. Charming, Self-Sacrifiecing, Handsome, Smart and whatever else all the princes were in Disney movies, they don’t exist.

If we are being really honest with ourselves, then as proud women we need to give up on the white knight image…. This image is more than someone to come and rescue me. This image is believing that someone out there will come and make me whole. Make me all better.

I am just not so sure fairy tale love will appear if i hold out for it.

Some people have said that most people have an idea of what they want — I disagree. I think most people have a fantasy of what they want.

Everyone has a fantasy of what they want and think exists specifically for them and them alone.

How many times has the house won on your love bet?  Is it worth all the loses for at least one right one?

Yes. I believe it is. I believe the loses make us who we are and allow us to appreciate what is right in front of us.

(And by right, I don’t mean ‘the one’ for the rest of my life. I mean the one that I will love deeply and always reflect upon fondly, and gratefully that I was able to experience something so delicate, pure, special and something that is just a part of me, a part for me.)

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"IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, THAN YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST" -marilyn monroe

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