my journey through the pursuit of love & happiness

Archive for January 2011

Lately I’ve been more and more annoyed at the public’s attack on Jennifer Aniston.

Why can’t a beautiful woman be happy without a man? Why must you label her a loser because she hasn’t settled down? Yes this might sound like the whole cliche arguement of if she was a man she’d be called a bachelor… Well if she was a man she would be one of hollywood’s most eligible bachelors. She’s be George Clooney. Last week George Clooney said he would never get married again. No one called him a loser. No one has ever called him a failure at life for not producing children. Instead, he must be tamed and she must be lame.

Leave her and all the women who are happy being single, independent women and can be fulfilled with other intimate relationships in their life, alone. Not all women want to be settled down and not every woman is sure she wants children. Must we really hold her to standards of a 1950s housewife?! So what if she doesn’t want children.

There is seriously something wrong with our society and male/female roles when a woman is being teared down for being strong and independent. Who is publishing this BS? Men and women who only want to reinforce gender roles from their parent’s generation?! People who are unhappy with their life and feel the need to bring anyone who seems happy down?!

It is not a woman’s sole role in life to produce a child. The fact that she is living the life she is living should be inspiring other young women: yes, it is possible to be happy and fulfilled without a man or child in your life.

Hill Harper says the best positive messages to males and females.

His tweet today: “Be a ‘G’:  ‘Many of us put a facade of being a man, but rarely express the courage (heart) [to] be gentlemen. ‘ ”

I couldn’t have said it better.



Sarah Palin wants you to think that the government doesn’t want you to eat cookies. She’s wrong. She’s wrong about a lot of things. In this case, she is wrong that the government doesn’t already influence our food choices with their agriculture policies.

Marion Nestle says it best:

“When San Francisco voted to eliminate toys from McDonald’s Happy Meals, the Forum at the Harvard School of Public Health invited comments on this issue.  Here’s what I had to say about it:

I’m surprised at the mayor’s comment that “parents, not politicians, should decide what their children eat,” because the San Francisco ordinance is not about the food. It’s about the toys.

Nobody is stopping parents from ordering Happy Meals for their kids. But as everyone knows, kids only want Happy Meals because of the toys.

The idea that government has no role in food choice is ludicrous. The government is intimately involved in food choices through policies that make the cost of some foods—those containing subsidized corn or soybeans, for example—cheaper than others.

It is not an accident that five dollars at McDonald’s will buy you five hamburgers or only one salad. It is not an accident that the indexed price of fruits and vegetables has increased by 40% since the early 1980s, whereas the indexed price of sodas has decreased by 30%. Right now, agricultural policies support our present industrialized food system and strongly discourage innovation and consumption of relatively unprocessed foods.

Agricultural policies are the results of political decisions that can be changed by political will. If we want agricultural policies aligned with health policies—and I certainly do—we need to exercise our democratic rights as citizens and push for changes that are healthier for people and the planet.

Yes, individuals are the ultimate arbiters of food choice.

But our present food system makes unhealthful eating the default. We need to be working for government policies that make healthy eating the default. The San Francisco ordinance is a small step in that direction.”

My sex life is rarely as active as people believe. I have standards! Also, no biggie, I’m a sex camel. But more importantly, I don’t see the point in wasting my time having sex when the sex isn’t worth it. If I think about all the things I could have done with my time, even filing my nails, than the sex was not worth it.

And guess what. Most. Sex. Is. Not. Worth. It.

Surprise of the century. I’m still the only person to give myself a multiple orgasm. But sometimes you just want to feel someone on top of you. Yes, for all you Sex and the City fans, once upon a time Carrie wrote about this, too. It’s true. We all need human contact. Warmth. Someone to hold us. Someone to have us feel needed, wanted.

My question is: when do you lower your standards compromise what you want?

Of course we must consider the cost and benefits of lowering compromising your standards.

Costs: time, birth control, adding another one to your list, grooming time

Potential Costs/Risks: sex might not be good, even if you use condoms (and I always do) you can still get something!, him telling lies, him being an ass, if you don’t you may forget how to have sex

Benefits: getting what you want? someone besides myself seeing me naked.

Other considerations: You might regret it.

If I were really serious about this cost-benefit analysis I would only have sex with myself. In reality I’m only going to enjoy sex with someone if there is a connection. Connections take time. Only once in my life have I had a love-at-first-moment-connection. The rest is being comfortable enough with someone for them to see your vinegar strokes and that takes time. But no one wants to take time anymore. This nation of fast-delivery everyone wants everything now.  I learned a long time ago the only way I’m ever only going to get want I want now is to do it myself (no pun intended).

When do you think it’s okay to lower your standards compromise what you want?

AFI is the reason why I do not like dating people I don’t know.

I miss the days of youth where you liked someone before you dated.

The way I see it, how am I suppose to know I like you if I don’t know you? This is not the movies and intimacy takes time to develop.

When I’m out on the town or around the library stacks and I see a man I am attracted to that attraction will last (at most) a week with no further interaction between us. What does this mean? That for me I am attracted to a lot more than just physical characteristics from a man. There are a lot of things a man does or acts that can turn me on. Of course this probably is partly why I come off being bored with guys…. well I guess I am… bored with just the physical connection that doesn’t last even a week. BUT I should be allowed some time to decide whether or not I like a guy. AND I shouldn’t feel pressured to know what I want from a guy just because he (thinks he) knows what he wants from me.

I pretty much think that for any relationship of mine to be successful it needs to be AFI. The few relationships where I didn’t feel like I was actually friends with my boyfriend drove me crazy! I couldn’t take it. I didn’t have that level of trust and intimacy that you have with good friends and those guys ended up being not good boyfriends.

What can I say, I’m a gemini and I need to be challenge mentally and physically.

It’s amazing how you can make decisions and live with those decisions and be happy because this is your life and you have control.

And then someone comes and makes you feel like you don’t have control.

It’s not always enough to remember that this is your life, your decisions are yours and you are you.

What is deplorable is when people who have no idea about your decisions try to bring you down with unnecessary name-calling and taunting.

What really gets me is that as much as humans seem to progressing I am daily reminded how much they are digressing. Why don’t I see love everyday?

Why is it that I can remember the last three guys who ruined my day but not one who made my day this year? And this year hasn’t even started! Ay dios mio.

If you can’t show your brothers and sisters love, than you shouldn’t show them anything.


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January 2011
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