my journey through the pursuit of love & happiness

Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

I love cats, too, but… will be a lil sore if this woman’s dating life is better than mine.

D.C. bar serves up 48-oz martini
By Lauren Abdel-Razzaq

Is so big it will actually not be served for solo drinkers.

Hold on to your liver and prepare for the ultimate drink at the end of a bad work week: The Big Dirty, a 48-oz martini.

Consisting of six to eight regular martinis, the Big Dirty sells for $79.99 at downtown D.C.’s Dirty Martini bar.

But don’t think you’ll be consuming one on your own. The bar maintains it’s meant to be shared with friends.

The Big Dirty, a 48-oz martini, towers above the table at Dirty Martini in NW D.C. (Dirty Martini)“It’s definitely a group thing,” said Dirty Martini marketing director Katie Asprovski. “I don’t even think we could serve it to one person.”

Since the Connecticut Avenue restaurant’s debut of this happy hour concoction three weeks ago, Asprovski says they sell eight of them a night.

In case you were thinking of ordering one to drink by yourself — or making your own Big Dirty — you may want to reconsider.

If a 120-pound woman consumed, in an hour, the amount of alcohol in a Big Dirty, she would have a blood alcohol content high enough to cause confusion, vomiting and possibly induce coma, according to a Stanford University report. A 180-pound man consuming the same amount of alcohol in the same time period would experience blurred vision, nausea and loss of motor control.

And that’s one way to make a bad work week worse.

Paying the check on the first date-- dealbreaker?

I like to joke that I have a gay man inside of me, but this doesn’t mean I understand a thing about men. Maybe I cannot relate to straight men because they are easily confused by shiny things.

This new category is dedicated to all the advice I receive from my straight guy friends (taken or not).

#1 If the guy does not pay for dinner DO NOT accept a second date.

I was most surprised to hear this advice from some of my more err bro guy friends. This is a piece of advice that is consistent from all my straighties. Apparently if a guy doesn’t pay for dinner on the first date (no one is saying he has to always foot the bill) he’s just not that into you.

What do you think? Do you agree?

ryerye: pour me a scotch

me: yes!

totes

ryerye: andddd get me a watch

me: k. you get me a BMW

= black man working

i am so tired of guys not being adults. geez. C’s friend msgd me and it had the word boner in it. this is an ivy league educated guy, mind you

who is making his first impression and he makes it by saying boner

gross

ryerye: lol

me: i want an adult male!!

ryerye: luckily women r nothing but mature always

me: LOL

blah. i’m giving up.

i’m going to the pet store this weekend and getting three cats

and a large tub of ben and jerrys with a side of papa johns

ryerye: YES PLZ

Introducing my friend ryerye. He’s full of tongue-n-check and sarcastic comments.

me:  what are you doing?

you missed shopping.

i had to eat subway b/c there was no one to encourage me to eat bad chinese food

ryerye:  lol

sorry

i slept til 1230

ive been so behind

how was it?

whad u buy

me:  a few cute work things

and girly make up things

i want to go back b/c the teen section had some cute shell tops

theyd look good with a jacket

and then go to hh and take off jacket and then viola

what are you going to do tonight?

i need someone to help me replace the filter in my ac

hint hint

ryerye:  lol

uhhhh, not sure

u?

me:  tonight

i was gonna wish away all my fat

and clean and watch movies

ryerye:  LOL

u have no fat to wish away

dont be frontin

me:  LOL

I hope that the man of my dreams serenades me with this…

That's amore.

“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets… your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows… and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.” —Joss Whedon

Can you find love in a coffee shop?

Ad Kahlua, stir. Find love.

I know some people enjoy coffee dates because they feel there is less pressure, but um, really, I am not 45.

I recently had a guy ask me out for coffee after I specifically said I don’t really drink coffee. Admittingly, I may have to adjust this self-proclaimed ‘I don’t drink coffee’ after I’ve discovered numerous flavored lattes at Starbucks. BUT I said I don’t really drink coffee. The last time I said that to a guy, the-jerk-he-turned-out-to-be-lying-and saying-he-slept-with-me-when-he-never-got-more-than-a-kiss, at least then suggested we get smoothies.

What does a girl think of when she thinks of a date? I will tell you right now she is NOT picturing a coffee shop. My time is valuable. I want to go out to new restaurants and try new things and if I am scheduling someone I am not even sure I’m into for a date into my hectic schedule, you can bet your allowance it is not going to be for coffee. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe alcoholic beverages are an important part of a date.

Coffee just has so much more of an interview feeling for me. Also, it’s hard to get dressed up cute for a coffee shop, almost in a sad way, like why are you dressing up for the library? Coffee shops mostly remind me of doing work and studying, not a place where I flirt and am making a conscious effort to look cute. (Okay, maybe I should change my preconceived notion of coffee expectations, sure meeting the love of my life in a coffee shop probably has the same statistical probabilities as meeting them in a bar, and I’ve definitely met a love in a bar.)

Also, what kind of listener are you when I tell you I don’t really drink coffee and still ask me out for a coffee date?! Over the years I’ve learned to see signs of men who are horrible at being on my side and listening. So if you can’t even listen to me for a first date suggestion, what makes me think you are going to listen to me about the really important things?

So there, you are not a really good listener and maybe you should be more creative than coffee (um like pomegranate martinis) for a first date.

Bottom line: It’s not rocket science. Guys if you want to stand out, do something creative for a first date. Even if you are doing the same creative thing for ten first dates. And if a girl tells you she’s not into something, LISTEN.

Hill Harper says the best positive messages to males and females.

His tweet today: “Be a ‘G’:  ‘Many of us put a facade of being a man, but rarely express the courage (heart) [to] be gentlemen. ‘ ”

I couldn’t have said it better.

Amazeballs.

 

My sex life is rarely as active as people believe. I have standards! Also, no biggie, I’m a sex camel. But more importantly, I don’t see the point in wasting my time having sex when the sex isn’t worth it. If I think about all the things I could have done with my time, even filing my nails, than the sex was not worth it.

And guess what. Most. Sex. Is. Not. Worth. It.

Surprise of the century. I’m still the only person to give myself a multiple orgasm. But sometimes you just want to feel someone on top of you. Yes, for all you Sex and the City fans, once upon a time Carrie wrote about this, too. It’s true. We all need human contact. Warmth. Someone to hold us. Someone to have us feel needed, wanted.

My question is: when do you lower your standards compromise what you want?

Of course we must consider the cost and benefits of lowering compromising your standards.

Costs: time, birth control, adding another one to your list, grooming time

Potential Costs/Risks: sex might not be good, even if you use condoms (and I always do) you can still get something!, him telling lies, him being an ass, if you don’t you may forget how to have sex

Benefits: getting what you want? someone besides myself seeing me naked.

Other considerations: You might regret it.

If I were really serious about this cost-benefit analysis I would only have sex with myself. In reality I’m only going to enjoy sex with someone if there is a connection. Connections take time. Only once in my life have I had a love-at-first-moment-connection. The rest is being comfortable enough with someone for them to see your vinegar strokes and that takes time. But no one wants to take time anymore. This nation of fast-delivery everyone wants everything now.  I learned a long time ago the only way I’m ever only going to get want I want now is to do it myself (no pun intended).

When do you think it’s okay to lower your standards compromise what you want?


"IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, THAN YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST" -marilyn monroe

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