my journey through the pursuit of love & happiness

Posts Tagged ‘smile

Part of me thinks that some of these are photo shopped, but who care they are just too funny!!

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Resume sex at your own risk.

I just had resume sex.

Graduate school is about to end. Bittersweet. Yes I want school to be over, but all the effort of getting a job and facing the prospect of having to settle for a less-than-perfect job is so very bitter.

Which brings me to the title of this blog. Resume sex. Yes. Resume. Sex.

I needed to craft a CV for some jobs. Resume I have, CV I do not. Yes, there is a difference, and if someone asks you specifically for a CV send them a CV.

I decided to send my CV draft to a friend who is really good at editing. After I sent it to him I told him sharing your CV/resume with someone is very intimate, like someone has just seen you naked.

You spend so much time working on your resume and you feel a great sense of accomplishment when it’s finished and sent it off.

It doesn’t feel as intimate when you send it off, though. It’s more like a one-night stand. Someone is going to be touching your resume and you are going to stand there, you hope they remember something good, mostly, you just don’t want to look bad in front of them, but comfort yourself because you know you’ll never see them again.

As my friend noted, the climax of sending it felt good but you’ll probably never hear back and they probably didn’t get as much out from receiving as you did from giving.

Maybe now all the men out there will realize what it’s like to a be a woman in bed with a bad sex partner? On second thoughts, I’ll probably get my dream job before three men realize that’s true.

“I feel I’m in the middle of an awful dream. Yet I know it can’t be a dream because there are no boy dancers.” Blanche, Golden Girls

Homemade brown sugar scrub. So easy to make and great for the skin!

Since I love making things from scratch and I highly dislike big prices I decided to finally make my own body scrub.

After searching online I have come up with my own recipe:

1/3 Turbinado brown sugar

1 tablespoon coffee grinds

1/3 cup almond glow brand coconut skin oil (you want one part oil, one part salt/sugar, this helps it be more of a polish than a scrub. do a 1/2 ratio of oil if you want more of a rough scrub but I think with the sugar I used a 1:1 ratio worked great, the sugar absorbed up all the oil and there wasn’t any left soaking at the bottom. Also make sure you get a body oil that already has Vitamin E in it)

a few drops of vanilla

1 tsp Vitamin E (try and get a body oil that has vitamin E if not buy and open some vitamin E capsules and mix them in)

I used the house brand of Sugar in the Raw, Turbinado brown sugar because I liked the texture better, it wasn’t as fine as other brown sugar and offered a more crystalized rub, like salt scrubs. Since it’s winter and my skin can get dry I wanted something that would help add moisture. I also wanted a sugar scrub instead of a salt scrub because it is more like a polish but I got the best of both worlds using the Turbinado sugar.

For the coffee grinds I substituted some instant coffee (some vanilla latte or something) I had left over from when my mother visited last fall. I don’t make coffee at home so it was an added saved expense to use what was in my cupboard. I added the coffee because the caffeine is supposed to be good for cells and awakening them and  even fighting/preventing cellulite.

I used regular cooking vanilla for a scent instead of essential oil b/c all of the essential oil I wanted were pretty expensive (um like forty bucks for tiiiiiny thing). And thinking about it I’m looking for function not another girly smell for my man-filled bathroom (did I mention I live with four guys?).

Looking back next time I will probably not add the vanilla or add more since the scent didn’t really come through, but again, I’m looking for function not girly smell. Also, I used a coconut scented almond oil so adding the vanilla didn’t really seem necessary. I will probably also add more coffee next time, which I would recommend if you want more of a coffee aroma.

Lastly, after using it in the shower before shaving I also used the exfoliant on my lips! Best tasting exfoliant ever! The dry wind and horrible east coast winter weather really does a number on your lips and skin. This totally helped! My legs felt smoother, lips smoother (and sexier) and overall I am happy with my homemade sugar scrub!

Use it in the shower before your next date or for yourself to help make your legs feel sexier!

Enjoy!

Funny undeniable adult truths. There are a few different versions out there, so here’s the list I complied.

It’s pretty funny and should put a smile on your face! Enjoy!!

I love Betty White.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this– ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello, Hello, **it!!), but when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather carry ten over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m finished with a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school students get dumber each year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you’re going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation I hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

33. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for
men to realize that their brain is also important.


"IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, THAN YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST" -marilyn monroe

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